Standing on the shoulders of those who already went through what you are going through. Think for a moment, what person has inspired you in your life and has advised you properly? When I ask this question in training, most people remember their parents, sometimes the couple, a boss or a former teacher. In one way or another, we have all experienced the experience of being advised and of appreciating these recommendations. But having a mentor goes beyond.

It means reaching an agreement, perhaps not verbalized, based on trust with someone who cares about your personal and professional development, without him or her necessarily being a family member or a friend. We do not have as much tradition as in the United States but when one lives it, the results are really excellent on both sides.

If we want to know what it means to be a mentor, the first step is to go to Greek mythology and one of its most traveler’s characters par excellence, Ulysses, King of Ithaca. When he left to fight the Trojan War – a journey that lasted “only” twenty years – he entrusted the education to his good friend Mentor, who is none other than the goddess Athena (which means that more intelligent, impossible). Thanks to this character, the term was created to refer to the person who acts as a counselor or guide, who shares his experience and knowledge through encounters with the person who mentors.

It is also the ability of a person to make accurate judgments, based precisely on that knowledge and their own experience. Since the times of Aristotle, wisdom has been greatly valued and, to this day, we continue to ask for advice from wise individuals. But, do we know how to distinguish those who are from those who are not?

Try to understand instead of judging. By default, we all have prejudices. We value quickly the actions of those around us to be able to put them in simple categories of “good” and “bad”. This is so because we have to form an opinion about people quickly, and it is also something that wise people do, but, unlike the rest, the wise are able to elaborate this first judgment taking into account more variables, and change it as soon as it is necessary.

Observe the world in shades of grey, not black and white. The wise are specialists in what the strategy expert calls integrative thinking: the ability to keep two ideas diametrically opposed in their heads, and know how to reconcile these in each situation. A wise person, when faced with a difficult question, never answers with affirmations of the type “it is like that because it is so”: only offers categorical affirmations if he knows how to argue these with sufficient security.

What advantages does having a mentor have? Many. Sometimes in our mind, we create alternatives, possibilities that can be distanced from reality. The opportunity to share our aspirations and concerns with someone who has experience helps us to land our fears, our dreams shape and define action plans to achieve them. They do not have to be formal meetings with a script. They are relaxed conversations with someone you admire and who inspires you.